I am the keeper of rituals and memories. Of pumpkin patches and Easter egg hunts. I am the taker of pictures, the collector of special ornaments, and the writer of letters.
I am the keeper of emotional security. The repository of comfort, the navigator of bad moods, the holder of secrets and the soother of fears.
I am the keeper of the peace. The mediator of fights, the arbiter of disputes, the facilitator of language, the handler of differing personalities.
My two kids have no keeper. We all, including the 7- and 9-y/o kids, step up when we see someone in need. There's no dedicated keeper, so sometimes we have to figure out our own bandaids. I'm really proud at how even the kids mostly look out for one another and even the parents. There's no grandparent help. It's just us.
I am an electronics engineer, and my wife is a lawyer. I cannot imagine one of us becoming a former engineer or former lawyer. Pumpkin patches and Easter egg hunts are for off time. I do wish we had more things like that, and that we were less tired. But it's beyond my imagination to give up electronics or my wife to stop being an attorney.
I am very confident that my kids are learning a kind of emotional security from our encouraging them to go out and find people to play with. We love playing with them some, but we live in the adult world. The world of making mobile phones work better and helping people have their final wishes respected. The kids' is the world of play. I tell them try not to forget how to play as you grow older. The kids world is also kids resolving some disputes on their own, learning to handle different personalities on their own, getting confidence slowly to handle the world's problems and eventually take their place as adults, like their parents. They have a comfortable place to come home to when they're upset, but they do not have an ever-present keeper of emotional security. They go out on their own on their bikes, and they don't know exactly what they'll find.
I can't imagine becoming a former-engineer to manage the kids world. Maybe the “keepers” of the world can't imagine practicing law. Keepers, we don't have to understand one another. My 7-y/o daughter picks herself up after a minor scrape, but if you ever see her hurt worse, out there really crying, I would appreciate if you call me. It's never happened, but I shudder to think of one of them really hurt. If you're really exhausted, as I sometimes am, my kids will show yours how to resolve problems on their own. I want to know if you ever see them resolving problems unfairly or ever hitting or stealing. So far they always step up and act responsibly. Be sensitive, keepers, if you ever ask us to work at a bake sale or fund raiser. Instead ask if our businesses could make a donation at this time or if any of the organizations we work on have a budget for donations. Sometimes they do.
I truly envy part of the keepers’ world. My wife and I have lost something of the kid world. We only see it when we watch the kids. I humbly apologize to the keepers if I ever look at you some weird female Peter Pan for managing the world of Easter egg hunts and kids' games. I tell my kids never to be disrespectful like that. The world needs all kinds. Maybe you could do something fun with our kids when they play with yours, way more fun than their stodgy old parents. Maybe my kids can show you a secret place only kids know about and how to climb a tree so high it would give any parent pause. I’d love to think of our kids becoming friends for life, looking out over the park from high in a tree in a place parents don’t know about.
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